Nine weeks ago the African adventure did start
From Cape Town in South Africa the Beast did depart
On board were nineteen passengers plus three Guerba crew
Rory, Danny and Hes...and some of us too

Leaving fires and fun in the big smoke
We headed northwards from the windy Cape of Good Hope
Passengers included a lovely but loud American called Clapper
And of course who could forget Smeg, the champion flapper

Passing by mountains and deserts of sand
We were soon in a most unusual 'no man's land'
Namibia was a beautiful country, but hot
But did we complain? Certainly not!

Swakopmund was our first big adventure town
Quadbiking the dunes up and down, up and down
Eating fine food and drinking copious beers
We thought of Danny stuck in the desert - 3 cheers!

Visited a town called Kolmanskop from days long since gone
Found no diamonds but managed to lose Ron
We saw cheetah and dodged zebra in huge Etosha Park
But even with Danny speeding, reached the gate after dark

We soon became skilled in blowing and erection.....
Of thermarests and tents - what did you think I would mention?
Sleeping under the stars in bush camps was good fun
How we soon longed for no rain and just the Namibian sun!

In Etosha our music was considered too loud
We didn't understand why - of our music we were proud
And even tho' we hear the Mbeki tape five times a day
We still can't work out what they bloody well say!

Our first visit to Vic Falls was a time to go crazy
Memories of that time are somewhat hazy
Sex between Mario and Mechtild would have been sweet
But alas! Danny couldn't find the ground sheet

It was February 18 when we finally reached Harare
'Twas time to start the South East Safari
Met six new faces stupid enough to book
And George, our talented new Kenyan camp cook

We had fun at Kariba in a houseboat on the lake
Playing UNO, cards, pick-up sticks and other games we could make
Canoeing near hippos was scary but still a lot of fun
And who could forget the baby who thought we were its Mum!

At Victoria Falls we were joined by four more
Did they know what they were really in for?
Drinking and dancing were the order of the day
And our Sean, to a lady's tongue, almost fell prey

The trucks' roof seat was certainly a popular place
But not so good for Josh's arms and face
Denise's laugh proved highly contagious
About hippos, geese and all things outrageous

Lake Malawi was an extremely beautiful spot
Not too cold, not too wet and not too hot
Beach volleyball, the 'sausage' and frisbee were the go
But who could forget Marcelle and her 2 male hippo!

Heading to Zanzibar we left poor Rory behind
But to many the 'Garage Club' was a great find
One memorable night, too much Tequila was consumed
And the very next day with the dolphins, sickness certainly loomed!

We pee'd behind bushes in the land of Masai
The wrong choice of bush tho' and you were right in their eye
Those long days in the truck covering vast miles
Good for sleeping but Doc, please cure all our piles!

We loved Serengeti and the Crater as well
But we didn't see the elusive leopard - damn, bloody hell!
We saw animals mating and doing their thing
For most of us tho', we have scored only clothes that ming

Fun, practical jokes have been the order of the day
Rory and Danny the chief culprits....or so some say
With two nurses on board, our illnesses have been kept under check
Bandages for fingers, injections for hangovers and massages for the neck

And now we are at the end of a most wonderful trip
Tomorrow we depart - after one final kip
Thanks to the crew for all you have done
It's been terrific - we've had so much fun!

Alison & Emma